Experts have long advised that self-care is key to dealing with the stressors of life, but with the additional layers of stress added by COVID, quarantines and social distancing, self-care of mind, spirit and body has emerged as absolutely essential.
If it used to be easy to put self-care and good wellness habits on the back burner, the ongoing pandemic has taught us that those days are over. Experts have long advised that self-care is key to dealing with the stressors of life, but with the additional layers of stress added by COVID, quarantines and social distancing, self-care of mind, spirit and body has emerged as absolutely essential. But where to start? Is it ever too late to start? Where is help available? Sifting through the abundance of information available can be daunting and trying to get on the road to wellness without a guide can lead to discouragement and frustration.
Resources abound in the region for all ages to help navigate the impact of the pandemic, the new world order post-COVID and life in general. Whether you’re on your first wellness journey or just need some qualified assistance during an especially difficult time, there are resources for all aspects of self-care.
THE BAY CENTER, Kilmarnock
The Bay Center, a nonprofit organization serving Northumberland and Lancaster Counties, is dedicated to bringing local talent, experience and skill sets together as a means of connecting the community through programs that inspire personal and professional growth, wholeness and well-being.
One group most affected by the pandemic is those who provide healthcare, psychological, clerical, legal, spiritual and complementary services. The Bay Center holds an annual gathering for the helpers and healers of our community, providing an opportunity to meet and network with others who have common interests and clientele in the Northern Neck. Complementary service providers include a wide range of caregivers, hospice volunteers, pastors, first-responders, massage therapists, physical therapists, pharmacists, school counselors, youth leaders and food bank volunteers. “This benefits our community as a whole, because it gives our helpers and healers an opportunity to meet others for referrals, and to share and learn about new services being offered in our community,” explains executive director Ann DeMuth. “We’re also expanding our caregiver support programming in 2022.”
The Bay Center’s workshops give participants the opportunity to gather, learn and share in a supportive environment. On the calendar for 2022 is a six-week Movement and Mindfulness series. Also being offered are two six-part series, one exploring World Religions and the other an introduction to Carl Gustav Jung and his “map of the soul.”
Grief Support Groups are offered every quarter, in Kilmarnock, with the next 10-week series starting on April 5 and running every Tuesday at 1 p.m. through June 7. Designed to help participants explore their reactions to loss within a trusting and confidential environment, the groups help participants learn about the grieving process and develop strategies for coping, to begin integrating this change into their lives. Facilitated by a licensed professional counselor or clergy member, the group uses the book “Understanding Your Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart.”
When Nora Harvey’s husband committed suicide, she joined the Grief Support Group at The Bay Center as a way of processing her loss. With each session, she found herself getting more vocal about what she was dealing with, and the effect her husband’s suicide had on her grieving.
Eventually she called the foundation that publishes the book the group uses, suggesting they add a chapter on suicide grieving. They directed her to a book on the subject and recommended a seminar. Harvey took the 30-hour course and is now certified to facilitate a suicide grief group. “If I hadn’t gone to the Bay Center’s Grief Support Group, I wouldn’t be where I am now,” Harvey says. “A lot of good has come out of this and now going forward, no one will flounder like I did. I’ll help them and they’ll help me.”
As a result of her experience, a Loss from Suicide Grief Support Group is being added to The Bay Center’s calendar this year, along with a Heathsville Grief Support Group.
As part of The Bay Center’s commitment to racial justice, they launched the Pledge to End Racism in 2020. The Pledge is a training program started by the First Unitarian Universalist Church of Richmond and based on the Birmingham Pledge, consisting of two days of education and discussion on addressing racism. “Participants learn together, challenge one another, and engage in real change,” DeMuth says. “Moving from education to action, participants then commit to spreading racial justice throughout our community.” There will be two Pledge to End Racism workshops in 2022, with dates to be announced.
Register for any of The Bay Center’s offerings at TheBayCenter.org.
BACON STREET YOUTH AND FAMILY SERVICES, Williamsburg
Residents of the Middle Peninsula—Williamsburg, Yorktown, Hampton, Gloucester and Mathews County—can look to Bacon Street Youth and Family Services for expert treatment of adolescent substance use and mental health disorders for ages 10 to 26 and their families. Not surprisingly, the number of clients seeking help has gone up substantially since COVID hit. “Our clients’ needs are more complex because of the pandemic,” explains executive director Kim Dellinger. “Our collective trauma and its isolation are adding to the anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation our clients are experiencing.”
Because the entire world is going through this trauma right now, it’s affecting everyone in some way. It’s also affecting how services like Bacon Street are helping. “How counseling is done has changed fundamentally with telehealth,” Dellinger says. “But we allow our clients to choose whether they prefer in-person counseling or telehealth.”
Bacon Street uses a holistic, individualistic approach, acknowledging that each client is different, and their specific needs dictate the approach. And because young clients don’t live in a vacuum, to best address their mental health, they need a strong support system. Bacon Street works with the family to ensure the client’s plan is successful and provides services regardless of their ability to pay.
Getting past the stigma of mental health disorders is key. One in four people suffer from either substance abuse or other mental disorders yet asking for help for either remains taboo for too many. “Whether you’ve broken a leg or have cancer, to get better you have to be diagnosed and treated,” Dellinger says. “Mental health disorders are a disease and to address the disease, you have to be diagnosed and get treated.” Going to see a therapist for mental health, she says, is equivalent to going to see a doctor for physical health.
As for how to determine when a young person needs help, Dellinger says they need help when you see a change in their behavior. For adolescents, peer engagement is an important piece of their development and it’s far less available to them now given the limitations of social gatherings. “If there’s anything COVID has taught us, it’s that it’s okay to not be okay,” Dellinger says.
Another area needing attention on the journey to wellness should be eating habits, which affect energy level, sleep patterns, immune function, mood and even mental health. According to David Katz, M.D., “Diet is the number one predictor of the burden of disease in the world, hard stop.” What you eat is a major factor in overall health and well-being over the long haul. Many people don’t make this connection, or if they do, they think they can evade negative health outcomes and will wait to take it seriously when they’re older.
SIMPLY WHOLE, Williamsburg
Certified nutrition coach Tonya Fehrenbach and meal plan specialist Lyra Hale of Simply Whole in Williamsburg offer tools—nutritional coaching and meal planning services with a focus on a plant-based lifestyle—to help clients work toward healthier eating habits.
Nutritional coaching is about accountability and support. “When a client knows they have to keep a food journal and they’ll be talking to me about it on a coaching call, they’re more likely to follow the plan we set,” says Fehrenbach. “My job is to support them by helping them troubleshoot when they run into issues, including emotional attachment to foods.” She says having someone who can take an objective look at what they’re eating and what their habits and downfalls are helps clients make lasting changes in their wellness journey.
Because a whole-foods, plant-based approach can be intimidating for those new to it, Simply Whole also offers meal planning with each of its coaching packages. For those who don’t need coaching, they offer standalone meal packages—both 30- and 60-day meal plans—with access to a curated weekly meal plan unique to each client’s tastes and needs. All recipes are meat-, egg- and dairy-free, but clients can also specify gluten- and nut-free plans. For Weight Loss Challenge clients, recipes are low-fat and oil-free. “Most people sign on thinking they’ll be eating salads for most meals and will feel deprived and hungry once they transition to a whole-foods, plant-based approach,” Hale explains. “But they quickly realize the variety in recipes, as well as how good their food tastes, means they’re feeling full and satisfied at the end of a meal.”
SIMPLE WELLNESS AND NUTRITION COACHING, Kilmarnock
Malina Davis is Fitness Nutrition Specialist and Chronic Care Nutritionist at Simple Wellness and Nutrition Coaching in Kilmarnock. She believes that eating habits are a direct reflection of mental health, pointing to how being emotional can cause us to temporarily stop eating or, conversely, to gorge ourselves. “Cortisol affects this decision when we’re emotional and stressed, and cortisol is made in the brain, as are other hormones,” she explains. “Your mental health affects the way you eat, and the way you eat affects your mental health.”
Simple, her company, is more wellness coaching than nutrition coaching because wellness pertains to all areas of health and that means physical and mental. “Wellness needs can range from having a long conversation about potential stressors, to learning how our GI system functions properly,” Davis says. Nutrition can be used to remedy health issues just as it can be the poison to create them. Sugar has become one of the most popular ingredients in many food products, yet sugar is also the leading cause of almost all chronic diseases. “I’m a big believer that proper nutrition and wellness can aid any chronic disease symptoms, no matter how long you’ve been living with them,” Davis says.
By the third meeting with a client, Davis can create a custom meal structure based on the person’s daily schedule, food sensitivities and comfort level. Clients are given an array of choices from their 3-macronutrient blueprint lists given to them during sessions one and two. Most importantly, both the client and Davis approve the meal structure. “That allows the client to have complete creativity with their meals, with the nutritionist setting some boundaries,” she says.
SimpleWellnessandNutrition.squarespace.com
BODYFIT, White Stone
Given the benefits to mind, body and soul, physical activity should be a priority in everyone’s daily routine regardless of age. But it’s important to set realistic goals and start off slowly. Ramona Darden, owner of BodyFit in White Stone, recommends striving for balance in your plan to include strength, core, endurance and flexibility. Cardio can be done daily and should be at least 20 minutes, exercising in the 60%-80% zone of your max heart rate (220 minus your age). Strength workouts should be every other day. “Never work the same body parts two days in a row because your muscles need time for recovery,” Darden says. “And always stretch after each workout to elongate those muscles once you’ve contracted them.”
Alternating your routine is key to adding variety and keeping you motivated. Focus on eating better and keeping your body fat within a healthy range. “Classes or personal training can keep you accountable, as well as give you that added push most of us need,” she explains. “Remember that your weight should not be your major concern.”
Darden suggests setting goals by starting with 10-15 minutes two times a week. After 30-60 days, increase your time to 20-30 minutes three times a week. Too much too soon can lead to injury and reasons to quit. “We can all make excuses for not exercising, but it’s extremely important to set your well-being as the priority,” she says. “Do what you can, when you can and listen to your body.”
Because BodyFit is open 24/7, members can work out during non-peak hours when other gyms may be closed. As Darden puts it, “There are no excuses!”
IRON-BOUND GYM, Williamsburg
Scott Grafton, owner of Iron-Bound Gym in Williamsburg, thinks more people would include physical fitness in their lifestyles if they realized the benefits of doing so. “Many people don’t understand how important physical fitness is in fighting any sort of disease or virus,”
Grafton says. “It improves mood, and we can all use that, especially these past two years. Exercise primes our engine so we can keep moving in a healthy way. And it keeps the body in good shape.”
Just don’t go from sedentary to committing to work out five days a week and expect to maintain that routine. Grafton says those new to the gym often set themselves up for failure by letting their excitement override reality. “I tell people who want to work out five days a week to commit to three days a week and then if they get in an extra day or two, consider them bonus days,” he explains. “That’s a more optimistic way to look at it and then you won’t disappoint yourself.”
The most important element of committing to exercise regularly is to be consistent and find something you like doing. “Working out should be an escape from everyday
life. It’s your time for what you want to do,” he says. “Don’t search for reasons not to exercise, look for ways you can. There’s always a walk outside, walking the stairs or a YouTube video.” Iron-Bound Gym even offers virtual classes for those not comfortable leaving the house.