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Rochelle and Jonathan Hamilton with their three beautiful children, Makai (4 years), Ronan (10 months) and Keller (6 years).
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The Hamilton’s utilize reading time with their daughter Keller as a way to connect after a long day of juggling busy schedules.
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Backyard playtime is a great way for siblings to bond and parents to catch up.
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Olivia Bada, owner, WilliamsburgFamilies.com
Williamsburg is often perceived as a great place to retire or go on vacation or to send your brainy students for one of the best values in public college education … but it’s also an incredibly good place to raise children. How do people find ways to stay connected to the resources they need to be good parents?
Among the advantages, parents cite the variety of culturally rich activities available with parks, museums, library and school programs and festivals, plus excellent schools and a wide range of sports programs. The green space and lack of traffic get high marks.
Challenges include a lack of child care options, particularly for working parents, some school overcrowding and few pediatric medical specialists. Cost of living and housing affordability are mentioned as challenges that add to parenting stress. It can also be hard for newcomers to connect—people mention feeling like outsiders until they find the right social circle—while others mention the tight-knit nature of Williamsburg as offering limited privacy.
Here’s some advice and resources we gathered for parents in the ‘Burg.
Expectations
Once you find out you are going tobe a parent, it’s time to think through this major life shift.
“Routines will change dramatically. These changes are best handled if the new responsibilities and expectations of who will handle them are decided upon in advance.” said Kim Pinto, Director of Child and Family Connection.
Prenatal care is important to catch problems early. Donna Patno, theDirector of Women’s Services and Patient Care Services for Sentara Healthcare, said that for many women, prenatal care just looks like additional doctor’s visits to check weight and blood pressure, but those regular visits can catch problems early. “It might be uncommon, but when we notice an issue in pregnancy early, we can do more to help.”
Before the baby arrives, it’s important to plan for child care. Olivia Bada, the owner of WilliamsburgFamilies.com, said that waitlists at local day cares are not uncommon and it’s never too early to start planning. Child and FamilyConnection offers a free database through ChildCare Aware of Virginia that helps parents find local child care options. Bada also recommends asking around.
“Friends are really helpful as are colleagues at work who have or have had children in daycare.” If you don’t have any friends with kids, start cultivating some through prenatal classes, such as the ones offered at Sentara. It’s a great way to meet other people who will have kids the same age as yours. In Williamsburg, you’ll probably see these families repeatedly in different settings—school, sports and events. Rochelle and Jonathan Hamilton, who live near Jamestown, now have three kids, aged 6, 4 and 9 months.
“We prepared by doing tours of daycares, interviewed an in-home nanny and looked at in-home daycares. For our first child, we went to childbirth classes, and even a class on bringing home a baby when you have a dog,” said Hamilton.
Birth
There are several obstetrics practices in Williamsburg, but the only hospital maternity center in Williamsburg is at Sentara Williamsburg Regional Medical Center off Mooretown Road. Sentara offers prenatal, childbirth and breastfeeding classes, plus support groups.
“Birth is an important life event. Asa certified nurse midwife with a doctorate in nursing, blending the science with compassionate care is where I believe modern birth is headed.We want them to feel comfortable, warm and safe as they make this step into parenthood,” said Patno.
Homebirth is a more recent option in Williamsburg. Chrissy Owens runs EVa Homebirth with an office on Boundary Street.
“As more folks find that we can offer the same diagnostic testing options, including access to ultrasounds and referrals, they reach out for a more intimate birth experience for themselves. We are very hands off unless otherwise wanted or needed and practice a lot of patience. It's very calm and quiet,” she said.
One of the most important items of advice is not just to plan for birth, but for the post-partum transition.
“We should be ‘lying in,’ getting to know our babies, preserving our sleep and recovery with a lot of help from our loved ones and friends, our village, not a bunch of activities and housework,” said Owens.
Patno recommends creating a checklist of things to offer for people who say, “How can I help?”—since they want to help out, and you may not think of all the ways you’ll need it.
“The best gift to a postpartum family is prepared meals, grocery shopping, help with other children and household chores or sometimes, just a listening ear,” said Owens.
Numerous people mentioned the importance of knowing the signs of post-partum depression and anxiety and admitting that help is needed is a critical part of that. PostpartumSupport Virginia has a local Motherhood Support Group, online support and recommended therapists in Williamsburg and is part of the Williamsburg Maternal Mental Health Coalition.
Life with a Little One
Once the family has gotten a bit more settled, there’s still more to learn about parenting. Christine and Steve Barnes, who live in Toano, have four children, including two adopted foster children, ages 26, 12, 7 and 5.
“Ask for help when you feel overwhelmed and have a support network to rely on. Don’t expect that your second or third child will be anything like your first. Each new child is a new experience,” said Steve Barnes, 47.
For foster parents, there’s even more to know.
“Be aware that your idea of ‘normal’ will be challenged. Foster children have their own ‘normal’ which maybe unlike anything you have ever experienced. Find a way to multiply your patience,” said Christine Barnes, 49. “Be flexible and willing to try out new ideas surrounding parenting. Read, read, read!”
Child Development Resources, commonly known as CDR, is another Williamsburg gem, offering a number of programs to help families with young children. They offer parenting classes, child care programs, help for children with developmental delays and medical interpretation services.
“For us, CDR was an early gleam of hope for issues. One of our adopted children needed extra help with sensory issues and ADHD. The other required a specialist for delayed motor skills. The staff and volunteers at CDR helped ease our concerns and gave us resources,” Barnes said.
Foster parenting can lead to adoption, but the nature of it is offering love and care to children as their situation requires it, sometimes temporarily.
“Getting attached is easy to do, so have a strong network of friends and family for support when the foster child is no longer in your home, and connect with other foster families,” said Christine Barnes.
The theme of finding other parents to connect with is a familiar one.Parenting can be an isolating experience and nearly everyone mentioned the importance of reaching out. The informal networks of the community can offer resources, support and encouragement … as well as camaraderie and fun.
Connect
“Your village is most important.Surround yourself with like-minded folks that you can count on. Taking time for the things you enjoy outsideof being a parent,” said Owens.
The Hamilton’s daughter Keller just started first grade. “Go visit the school and get involved, even a small act of volunteering at field day,” Jonathan Hamilton said. “It’s important toknow what’s going on, and to ask about her day.”
Bada, who started WilliamsburgFamilies.com to collect all of the great events in the area, said thatWilliamsburg is lucky to have a number of attractions not normally found in a population of our size, like Colonial Williamsburg, Busch Gardens, Go Ape, Great Wolf Lodge, plus Williamsburg Regional Library, city and county recreation programs, parks and playgrounds.
“There are always events going on, lots of free stuff. It’s a great place to have small kids, including Busch Gardens, museums and library programs. I usually look at WilliamsburgFamilies.com on Fridays to see what’s going on that weekend,” Rochelle Hamilton said.
Natalie Miller Moore loves raising kids in Williamsburg, especially all the people she has met because of becoming a parent. It’s an extrovert’s dream.
Child Family Connection • kidsandfamilies.com/childandfamilyconnection/index.html
Child Care Aware • childcareaware.org/state/virginia/EVa Homebirth • evahomebirth.com
Postpartum Support Virginia • postpartumva.org/williamsburg
WilliamsburgFamilies.com • williamsburgfamilies.com
Breastfeeding support groups • cdr.org/services/breastfeeding-support
Sentara Williamsburg Regional Medical Center • sentara.com/hampton-roads-virginia/hospitalslocations/locations/sentara-williamsburg-regional-medical-center.aspx
(Breastfeeding support group at Sentara Williamsburg is Monday, Wednesday, Thursday from 10am until 11:30am)
Child Development Resources • cdr.org
WJCC Schools • wjccschools.org
