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Dr. Daniel Shaye, Nicole Shaye and their furry companion.
With vibrant local culture, abundant community resources, and natural beauty from one end to the other, you can find everything you need in Williamsburg. But can you find love? For some local singles, the search for a partner can be intimidating.
“Most of the people are older or already married and starting families. There’s not a whole lot of appeal for single professionals,” said Grace Montgomery, a William & Mary graduate who is relocating to Connecticut this summer. “Williamsburg isn’t a city for singles, it’s a city for families.”
“Williamsburg’s a town designed to cater to tourists and retirees that have money to spend, and in my opinion, the young singles are looking for more options—something other than restaurants and bars,” said Charles White, a lifelong Williamsburg resident. There’s growing optimism about nightlife in Williamsburg with increasing social options like music festivals, breweries, book clubs and outdoor events.
Local chiropractor Daniel Shaye, 49, found love the second time around after a long search in Williamsburg, but came to appreciate the small-town effect in time. “As a doctor, dating locally had daunting aspects, and I knew I had to protect my reputation. But there is a healthy accountability associated with having connection to your real-life— not online—social circle,” he said. “I remember years ago, a conversation with another single guy and I said to him, ‘So, you dated the single girl yet?’ He responded ‘yes.’ I followed up: ‘Now what the heck are we supposed to do?’”
Shaye’s story ends happily. He eventually met the woman who is now his wife in Williamsburg, proving there was more than one single woman in town. His successful channel?
Recommendations from other wellness-minded friends.
Alyssa Elkins, who moved toWilliamsburg in Spring 2018, has been charmed by the town and its restaurants, beaches, and local music and theater. Despite an eager involvement in the life of the town, she finds that singles are scarce on the ground. “Everyone tells me, ‘If you want to find somebody, you go to Richmond.’”
Talia Frye is a 31-year-old elementaryeducator who said, “I know there are single people in town, but I for one have no idea where to go to meet them. I would love to meet a nice professional man who has similar morals and values, but as I get older I find it harder and harder. I wish there was an easy way to help me meet men within Williamsburg.”
Dating apps are ubiquitous in the modern age, but chancy algorithms match many folks with prospects who are far out of town. “One thing I’ve noticed with the dating apps I’ve tried is there is a very limited selection of men at least in the Williamsburg area. Normally I’m matched with guys from Virginia Beach area and Richmond area,” said Erin Kelly, 28, a young local professional.
For many, Williamsburg can feel like a town that’s optimized for an older generation. The town’s Economic Development Authority director,Michele DeWitt, said that the town actively encourages new business to keep drawing a youthful and vibrant demographic to town, including start-up businesses that may appeal to young entrepreneurs.
Part of this may be a perception problem. Only 30.4 percent of people in James City County are over 60, so young people must be around here somewhere—and there are certainly plenty of college students in the city. But according to The American Community survey, there are very few single men or women between 35 and 44 years old (between 1 and 7 percent depending on the locality). Is it because they got married or moved away? It’s hard to tell.
The numbers are relevant, but they don’t tell the whole story. Professor Peggy Preble heads the Department of Sociology at Thomas Nelson Community College. She explains that dating and coupling are social processes with some surprisingly prosaic elements.
“The prevalent trend in the 1800s was for gentlemen to call on young ladies in their homes. That pattern changed radically in the 1900s when the Industrial Age brought people to cities and new public social spaces popped up,” she said. “The most profound shift happened in 2000. Social media in all its forms has altered how young people through their 20s are getting together. They’re meeting less in physical settings and more through apps and social sites,” said Preble.
So where does this leave modern bachelors and bachelorettes? “It should come as a surprise to no one that singles are more attracted to—and are more likely to be successful meeting others—when they’re in an urban city setting with a large population,” said Preble.
But even in a small town, Mr. or Mrs. Right might still be found. Preble advises, “Take advantage of what’s out there and resist the preference for media. It can be wonderful fun, but don’t neglect the potential and the skills of face-to-face interactions. People meet in the darnedest places, just because the body is physically out someplace and people start talking.”
Editor’s Note: We’ve heard lots of stories about the challenges of dating in Williamsburg, but we’d also love to hear success stories.Share your love story with us for a future issue. Email natalie@localscoopmagazine.com today.
