26-Spring-Neurounique-4.jpg

Long Road to Inclusion: Northern Neck Mom Builds Community for Neurodivergent Kids

by

COMMUNITY

To reach his fifth-grade classroom, Sully Cockrell spends three hours traveling between his parents’ home in Kilmarnock and the Dooley School in Richmond, a program for children with special needs. The van ride is long, but the payoff is huge: Sully, 11, no longer faces repeated suspensions for acting out if he gets overstimulated. Diagnosed with high-functioning autism, ADHD, anxiety and developmental delays, he has finally found a needed support system. Now Sully’s mother, Sara Cockrell, is on a mission to build that same sense of community for Northern Neck parents with neurodivergent children.

A lifelong Kilmarnock resident and owner of the Sara Brown Salon on Main Street, Cockrell has often felt alone and overwhelmed as she and her husband, Taylor, navigate their only child’s behavioral, social and educational challenges. 

So last year, Sara started a support network called Neurounique NNK to bring caregivers together on the first Sunday of each month at Front Porch Coffee House. There, they can share their experiences, advice, tears and laughter. 

“There’s too little help for families on this journey,” Cockrell said. “We all need a safe space where everyone feels accepted. We’re not bad parents, and these are NOT bad kids—they just have unique minds, but they’re often judged and struggle to find their place.”

Neurounique NNK, which has grown to about 15 members, is moving its meetings to the more spacious White Stone Church of the Nazarene to host playgroups for neurodivergent kids as well. Cockrell also hopes to build a website with resources and blog entries; an even bigger future dream is to create a new nonprofit and/or specialty school.   

Other local parents are cheering her on. Heather Conley of Northumberland County, whose 7-year-old daughter, Taylor, was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder at age 4, has attended Sunday gatherings since July. 

A preschool director, Conley has picked up tips, such as requesting small-group testing for Taylor at her public school. “It’s so great to share stories, get ideas and express my emotions freely—vent, although I don’t like that word—with people who really understand,” she said. 

“If you don’t have a child on the spectrum in your home on a daily basis, you can say you empathize fully, but you can’t. And awareness is still lacking. You still get people at stores staring or telling you, ‘You need to control your child.’ ” 

Sully Cockrell’s health challenges began when he was born three months early, weighing just 1 lb., 8 oz. He suffered a brain bleed in neonatal intensive care; by the time he reached day care, he had language delays and trouble with communication and following directions. 

The Cockrells received a diagnosis of high-functioning autism when Sully was 4. He started in private school but had to transfer into the public school system to receive legally mandated special education services. 

Developing an Individualized Education Plan, or IEP, proved tedious and confusing. “You almost have to be a lawyer to figure it all out and grasp the language,” Cockrell said. “Some parents are completely lost. It feels like you’re on a roller coaster.” 

Even with an IEP in place, Sully was suspended 10 times over two-and-a-half years for “aggressive behavior” and verbal outbursts. She continued, “I get that they have to protect other students. But there’s no grace given to these kids, who really are just doing their best. Their self-esteem can go downhill fast, and that’s what was happening with my son.” 

The Cockrells ultimately fought to have Sully’s tuition and transportation covered for the Dooley School. While he is working on friendships and is triggered by crowds, noise and bright lights, he is doing well in school, is close to his family and has several loves, from playing with his dog, Penny, to eating grilled cheese sandwiches to probing the mysteries of electricity. 

“He’s fascinated by how things work,” Cockrell related. “We buy old electronics at thrift stores and yard sales so he can dissect them. He’s rebuilt his go-kart at least three times.” 

Cockrell’s push to help children with neurological differences is inspired by the philosophy of the Neurodiversity Initiative at the College of William & Mary, an innovative form of support that focuses not only on these students’ challenges but also on their strengths. 

“These kids have a different way of being,” she said. “They may not be comfortable on the soccer field or in some other ‘mainstream’ activities, but they’re not ‘sick.’ They still need social connections. My goal is to help all of us feel less isolated—and more understood.”

Follow the Neurounique NNK Parent Network at @neurouniquennk on Instagram and Facebook, or contact founder Sara Cockrell at  cockrellsara4@gmail.com or 804-436-4547.

April is Autism Acceptance Month

Other programs for families with children on the autism spectrum include: